A little old lady called 911.

When the operator answered she yelled,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Republican on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed!

"I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird;
I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!"
the little old lady repeated.

"Well, now, how do you know he's a Republican???"

"Because, you damn fool, if he were a Democrat,
he'd be screwing somebody!"