A cardiologist marries a gynaecologist and were blessed with twin girls.
Guess what they name them - Angina and Vagina.

*****

Two sperms are swimming really hard and one asks, "Are we almost at the uterus?."
"Nah!" says the other, "we just passed the tonsil".

****

A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been raped".

****

A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted,
"I told you not to go doggy style".

*****

Man went to the chemist to buy one fourth Viagra.
Chemist said that it would be useless.
Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".

*****

Secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this?
"The truth is that she has a big mouth".

*****

A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love.
She said, "Aww, so sorry... exkooz me pleazo, Front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud".

*****

What is common between a swimming pool and a wife
- for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.

****

Love is a complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.

****

Sex is like a card game.
If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

*****

Why does the penis hate himself?
He has a bald head with no brains, one blind eye, lives amoung nuts, an asshole is his neighbour and he is in love with pussy.

********

What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called
- The Man.

******

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend"
had never seen a pussy before.

*******

Most women prefer sex with the lights out:
they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself.
Men like sex with the lights on,
so they can get the women's names right.

********

Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.

******

What did Bill Gate's wife say when she saw him naked for the first time?
"Oh shit! Now I know why you call it Microsoft".

*******

Dracula asked God,
"May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".

********

Why was two-piece bikini invented?
To separate meat section from the dairy section.

********

Man was lying nude on the beach. A sexy babe starts playing tabla on his butts.
Man: What are you doing?
Girl: Playing tabla.
Man turns over and says,
"Can you play flute?"