These are from a book called Disorder in the Court.
They are things people actually said in court,
word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters who had the torment of
staying calm while these exchanges were
actually taking place.

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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

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Q: What gear were you in at
the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Q: This myasthenia gravis,
does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an
example of something that
you've forgotten?

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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five,
I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

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Q: What was the first thing your
husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when
a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about
it until the next morning?

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Q: The youngest son,
the twenty-year old,
how old is he?

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Q: Mrs. Jamison, were you present when
your picture was taken?

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Q: So the date of conception
(of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this individual a male, or a female?

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Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have
you performed on dead people?
A: All of them, all my autopsies are
usually performed on dead people.

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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table
wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample.

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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was
sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still
been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have
been alive and practicing law somewhere.