One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th
He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices into the woods on the
side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this
guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside
"Goodness," says the golfer, as he proceeds to revive the poor little
Upon awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and
I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt
you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself
"Well, he was A nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do
something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll
him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go without a pint of ale),
a great golf game, and a great sex life."
A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's walking to
16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the woods.
He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how his head is
"Oh, I'm fine," the leprechaun says. "And might I ask how your golf game
"It's funny you should ask," replies the golfer, "but it's been amazing.
It seems I can't miss anymore!"
"I did that for you," responds the leprechaun, "and might I ask how your
money is holding out?"
"Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket,
I pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied.
The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you, too. And might I ask
how your love life is?"
Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one else can hear,
and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay."
"Just okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?"
"Oh, maybe once or twice a week."
Floored the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?"
The golfer replies,
"Well, that's really quite a lot for a Catholic
priest in a small parish."