The CEO of Tyson Foods manages to arrange a meeting
with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the papal blessing, he
"Your eminence, we
have an offer for you. Tyson Foods is prepared to
donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord's
from 'give us this day
our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is
the word of the Lord-it must not be changed."
"Well," says the Tyson man, "we anticipated your
reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to $300 million
dollars. All we require
is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread
'to 'give us this day our daily chicken.'
Again, the Pope replies, "That is impossible. For the
prayer is the word of
the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the Tyson guy says, "Your Holiness, we at
Tyson Foods respect your
adherence to your faith, but we do have one final
offer. We will donate $500 million dollars - that's half a billion
to the great Catholic
Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer to'give us this day
daily chicken.' Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad
"The good news is that the Church has come into $500
"And the bad news, your eminence?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder Bread account."