Even Racoons Know Where To Find The Best In E-mail Humor


An Atheist Hike

AN ATHEIST WAS WALKING THROUGH THE WOODS.

"WOW! WHAT MAJESTIC TREES! WHAT POWERFUL RIVERS! WHAT BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS,"
HE SAID TO HIMSELF.

AS HE WALKED ALONGSIDE THE RIVER, HE HEARD A RUSTLING IN THE BUSHES BEHIND HIM. HE TURNED TO SEE A 7 FT. GRIZZLY CHARGE TOWARD HIM. HE RAN AS FAST AS HE COULD UP THE PATH.HE LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER AND SAW THAT THE BEAR WAS CLOSING.HE LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER AGAIN AND THE BEAR WAS EVEN CLOSER. HIS HEART WAS PUMPING FRANTICALLY AND HE TRIED TO RUN EVEN FASTER. HE TRIPPED AND FELL ON THE GROUND. HE ROLLED OVER TO PICK HIMSELF UP, BUT SAW THE BEAR RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM, REACHING FOR HIM WITH HIS LEFT PAW TO STRIKE HIM.

AT THAT INSTANT, THE ATHEIST CRIED OUT,
"OH, MY GOD!"

TIME STOPPED,
THE BEAR FROZE,
AND THE FOREST WAS SILENT.

AS A BRIGHT LIGHT SHONE UPON THE ATHEIST, A VOICE CAME FROM THE SKY,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS;
YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST;
YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO A COSMIC ACCIDENT.
DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT?
AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"

THE ATHEIST LOOKED DIRECTLY INTO THE LIGHT,
"IT WOULD BE HYPOCRITICAL OF ME TO SUDDENLY ASK YOU TO TREAT ME AS A CHRISTIAN NOW BUT, PERHAPS,
COULD YOU MAKE THE BEAR A CHRISTIAN?"

"VERY WELL,"
SAID THE VOICE.

THE LIGHT FADED,
AND THE SOUNDS OF THE FOREST RESUMED ...
AND THEN ...
THE BEAR DROPPED HIS RIGHT PAW,
BROUGHT BOTH PAWS TOGETHER,
BOWED HIS HEAD, AND SPOKE:

"LORD, BLESS THIS FOOD WHICH I AM ABOUT TO RECEIVE AND FOR WHICH I AM TRULY THANKFUL.
AMEN"