Split Up The Middle
Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and
kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group
of
out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.
He spent all day trying to
salvage
as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch with everyone he knew
all
that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's
wife had died suddenly in his absence.
When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at
the
grocery.
A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so
sorry
for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking
about
his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.
She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.
Her bottom was all
shriveled
up and she smelled like old dead fish.
She was always holding water.
She
had
a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too.
Every
time
I
used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those
four
guys looking for a good time.
I warned them that she wasn't very good
and
that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.
The darn fools tried
to
get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.
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