Split Up The Middle
Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and
kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group
out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.
He spent all day trying to
as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch with everyone he knew
that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's
wife had died suddenly in his absence.
When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at
A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so
for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking
his boat said,
"Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.
She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.
Her bottom was all
up and she smelled like old dead fish.
She was always holding water.
a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too.
used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those
guys looking for a good time.
I warned them that she wasn't very good
that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.
The darn fools tried
get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.