The Bar Side
Topic: Dating
A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches, he drinks one drink and pours the other one on his hand.

He orders two more drinks and does the same thing. The third time, the bartender asks him what's going on.

"Why are you pouring that drink on your hand"?

The man smiles at him, winks and says, "I'm trying to get my date drunk."

 

Unsafe Sexual Practices
Mood:  surprised
Topic: Dating
A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist: "Hello, could you give me a condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out, he returns and tells him: "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom; and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says: After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes allusions... and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me too!!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying: "Dear Lord,bless this dinner... thank you for all you give us...!!!"

A minute later the boy is still praying: "Thank you Lord for your kindness..." Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others. She gets close to the boy and tells him in his ear: "I didn't know you were so religious!!!"

The boy replies :"I didn't know your dad was the pharmacist!!!"

The Blind Date
Topic: Dating
After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"