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Garbage Humor Jokelog
Saturday, April 19, 2008
C.O.'s Morning Briefing:
Topic: Millitary

C.O.'s Morning Briefing:

The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Army was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?'

The X.O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

The Colonel's Aide, a Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

With no hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, Sir" began the PFC, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."


The room fell silent. God Bless the Army.

 

Submitted By Paul Bleich


trashed by the garbage humor man at 10:01 PM EDT
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Saturday, January 27, 2007
Aisle Seat
Topic: Millitary
Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London.

One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said,

"I need to get up and get a coke."

 "Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you."

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked.

"How long must this go on?

This fighting between our nations?

This hatred? This animosity?

This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

THE MARINES WILL ALWAYS WIN

 

Submitted By Mindy Thackrah

trashed by the garbage humor man at 10:04 PM EST
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Monday, December 25, 2006
The Soldier And The Nun
Topic: Millitary
A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there.

Out of breath he asked,
"Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain WHY later."

The nun agreed.

Just a moment later two Military Police came running along and asked,
"Sister, have you seen a soldier running by here??"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,
"I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq."

The nun said, "I think I can fully understand your fear."

The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent,
but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun smiled and replied,
"If you had looked a little higher,
you would have seen a great pair of balls....
I don't want to go to Iraq either."

 


trashed by the garbage humor man at 2:31 PM EST
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Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Purple Brain
Topic: Millitary
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety.

"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses."

"Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"

 


trashed by the garbage humor man at 11:33 PM EST
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