A Chick, A Horse, And A Harley
Topic: Biker Jokes
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he manage d to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the mud.

 

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)

 

 

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks"

Submitted By Paul Bleich

Sky Ride
Topic: Biker Jokes
A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing", the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground". I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer to me"!

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen"?

"Just a couple minutes ago".

 

Harley Heaven
Topic: Biker Jokes
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the  Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed, God said to Arthur but according to these numbers more men are riding my invention than yours!
 

Submitted By Paul Bleich

Biker Bet
Topic: Biker Jokes
A Texas Biker walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $100.00 bills. The man guesses there must be
Thousands of dollars in it!

So the Biker approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

Well...you pay twenty dollars...and IF you pass three tests you get all the
Money!!!"

The biker certainly isn't going to pass this up!

"What are the three tests?"

"Pay FIRST..." says the bartender..."Those are the rules."

So the man gives him the $20 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"OK", the bartender says, "Here is what you need to do....

FIRST: "You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of pepper tequila the WHOLE
Thing, all at ONCE....and you CAN'T make a face while doin it....."

SECOND: "There's a pit bull chained-up out the back with a sore
Tooth....You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS....."

THIRD: "There's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has NEVER reached orgasm
During intercourse...You've gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her..."

The biker is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my $20...but I'm not an IDIOT!
I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then Do those OTHER THINGS!!!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is...."

The biker has a few drinks...then a few more......
Finally...he asks, "WHERRRE'S ZAAAAT TEQUIIIILA?!"

The biker grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp....Tears
Are streaming down both cheeks, but the biker doesn't make a face....Next...he
Staggers out the back where the pit bull is chained up....

The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on outside
They hear the pit bull barking....the biker screaming....the pit bull
Yelping....and then, SILENCE.

Just when they think the Texas Biker SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into the Bar...with his shirt ripped...and large, bloody scratches all over his
Body......

"NOW...." the biker says.....
'WHERE'S THE OLD WOMAN WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?!

Submitted By Mindy Thackrah

Biker's Last Request
Topic: Biker Jokes
A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go."

"Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?"

"That you kill me first."

Choke Hold
Topic: Biker Jokes




A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old puppy."

"Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my Doberman?"

"It appears that he choked on it, sir."

Making Matters Worse
Topic: Biker Jokes
A biker has been in a small town in the Midwest for two weeks when he begins to miss his wife. After another two weeks, he just can't stand it anymore. He decides to visit a brothel in town.

He goes up to the madam and says, "Here is a hundred dollars. Give me the worst blow job in the house."

"But sir," says the madam, "For a hundred dollars, you don't have a settle for the worst blow job. As a matter of fact, you could get the best."

"No, no," says the man, "you don't understand. I'm not horny, I'm homesick."

Is That Your Final Wish ???
Topic: Biker Jokes
One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."

The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."

The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

Kentucky Hell's Angels
Topic: Biker Jokes

Horsing Around
Topic: Biker Jokes
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his dick and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.