A Very Important Message From Santa Claus
Topic: Holidays
Message from Santa


Dear Friends.

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.

I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas,
but we had a little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with
the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids
a-milking, and the 9 piperspiping have been arrested for doing weird
things to the 7 swans a-swimming.
The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves
and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird
shit.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
reindeer are in heat, elves have joined the gay liberation and some
people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th
of
January.

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you
the things you want.

This year I suggest you get your asses down to K-Mart before everything
is gone.

Submitted By Paul Bleich