Mood:
celebratoryTopic: Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic
athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an
astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go
into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this
story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't
do anything else." --Jay Leno
"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in
2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see
what it's like to sleep in the president's bed."
--Jay Leno
"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected
president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he
makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank."
--Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow all
ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton 's former business partners
can vote for her in 2008."
--Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much of her
personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with
an intern."
Craig Kilborn
In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it
was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and
living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the
trouble starts."
Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York announced that she has
no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United
States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed .
There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family."
David Letterman
"Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first party in her new
home in Washington. People said it was a lot like the parties she used to host
at the White House. In fact, even the furniture was the same."
Jay Leno
"Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his
campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a
promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night
on the couch."
Craig Kilborn
"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America.
Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because
she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it."
Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great stat e of New York.
When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible . . . the one with
only seven commandments."
- -David Letterman
Submitted By Paul Bleich
