Topic: Reality Humor
SCHOOL DAYS 1947 vs. 2007
Scenario:
Billy goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot
with shotgun in gun rack.
1947 - Principal comes over, looks at Billy's shotgun, goes to his car
and gets his shotgun to show Billy.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Billy hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.
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Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist-fight after school.
1947 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
best friends.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge
them with assault, both expelled even though M ark started it.
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Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1947 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the
Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class
again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for
ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a
disability.
********************
Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.
1947 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster
care and joins a gang. Sta te psychologist tells Billy's sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom
has affair with psychologist.
********************
Scenario:
Sheri gets a headache and takes aspirin to school.
1947 - Sheri shares an aspirin with a student.
2007 - Police called, Sheri expelled from school for drug violations.
Car searched for drugs and weapons.
********************
Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1947- Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
schoo l system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a
living because he cannot speak English.
********************
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in
a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1947 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security and
FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates
parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad
goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
********************
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is
found crying by his teacher, Heather . Heather hugs him to comfort him.
1947- In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in state prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
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By an American High School Graduate 2008
